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Founding my self have spent too much useless time makes me realized i did to much grieving and mourning about my boringness of doing nothing instead only playing computer and games that really makes me retarded for days.

Being stupid, extra stupid running away from problems that found either in my own so-called home or even finding problems inside my self (means i thought i'm being phsyco enough) this kind of tiredness of the allergic sickness i have that very far away from being better, i did too much this -making my self die any sooner. Bad bad thing i've done in this holiday.

Tonight, I just met a few old friends and another friends from my friends - point is, i met this peoples, they are models, photographer, singer, musician, and else, those kind of very cool life style, the real cool people not just this ordinary new kid style or whatsoever.
They made me think, man, i have this talents, a few talents that my parents already taught me since i was a little dummy kid, why would i just screw my life because of this hedonic feeling i have just for a second - and screw my entire day, days or even a week. Being very retarded because can't focused on anything.

I need new things. Consider from my self, i'm a little experimental person.
I decided. First thing i would like to do is, I will change my appearance by the look, hair-do, or what ever i had in mind, i'll just gonna do it for some fun.

Also, i'll start to talk to my parents, maybe it'll help me find out what will i do for dragging my self from my self-trouble that caused by my own thought.
Hmm, I'm trying to discuss about what work i should try to apply in time, because i really need to raise my own saving.
I want to travel around with my own money. Also, July, many things i wanna do and get. I need more money and saving.

This is my only thought i had in my brain for this very moment.
I'm trying to get normal as normal as anybody else.
It might not seem normal for normal people, but, thats what i called "fun".Haha

Let's see what will i do tomorrow.

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