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11.24.2011

The Sims Social Bot

The Sims Social Bot

5.20.2011

something happened days ago , i don't want to talk about it because i really don't mend it.
anyways, what i was trying to tell is about what happen after i got struck by that thing. total disaster to my own body.
i got a really serious disorientation , physically, i don't know how to deliberate it.

my body over capacity to engage with my mind, i was demonstrated by my own body, is it weird??

i always took anything so easy , not to think to much about what happen around which actually something good, i mean not that "i don't really care about anything else" its just like, i can bare with any negative or problems around , even people's problem can be easy if they take a bit from my opinion. but actually that makes me some kind of , what to call, unhuman for some people.

do you think i don't really think of something hard, heavy thing inspite of the playing around not being serious act i have done in present days? i can not be predicted , of course i can't. but i tried to tell people by words, scramble words, act shit like i don't even want to remember, just to show around that please, dig inside of me by your self. i know its hard, but will somebody try? is it that hard to see the different side of me?

but unfortunately , i don't want anything happen for substitute. i don't need that yet. i still have my charm and i don't think it will be gone for long term condition.

yes, i do feel humanity for a while, i had dreams, which i don't really like to have, because in my dream i was talking and acting the same act in reality as i really awake but in a second away i would be awaken by sounds and realized it still was only a dream, i'm tired by this, its like i live in people's mind, people who actually were near me when i was asleep. it's like i live in their dream, i came in their dream, i talk to them by our mind, it is a dream, but still felt so weird when the dream nothing to be judge as a dream, nothing special, just random usual activity we did when we talk, when we mock around, when we share stories, when we loathing something, things like that.

my mind not over capacity, but this time i would say, i'm out of words, i'm out of space , to care for somebody else(thousands of them) except one

5.10.2011

late night expose , kinda catchy when the picture or something unravel hope always come in infinite moment

amusement settled while this words cannot be healed by thoughts

the wall in front cannot be torn, waits like forever

why ? why this moment always attach like they wont go or erased or ... i don't know

hopes, they are all fake.

experience , they make you strong

lies, above all lies, they keep you strong

this sentences must come as soon as possible, will time let me achieve it?

4.01.2011

hard sickness work

back from sickness nights (3 days 2 night) , i had high fever, 39.1 degrees really got me down but now i'm getting better.

last night i was so bored and because jason was sick too we haven't seen each other since monday, so i had a quite long chat with him.

what did we talk about? not much, nothing important, but then we talk about our job in this event we are going to have in our university on April 15th called MAKELU, it is an annual event that our campus had since ... hmm, i dont know when. we are one of the event organizer , actually my first aim was just helping jason of his too-much-excitement self doing his jobdesk as the head of event division, unfortunately now im busier than him, and he just, what... laugh ?? noo, i know he's grateful , but i wish he wont show that inappropriate act to make fun of me..


so later we talked about the guest star he had invited to this event and when i knew who they were, i felt like something missing, i realized that i was too drown by my own job desk and i didn't ask about other substance he is about to put. i didn't know about the flow, how the story will be. then he told me, this year is about trip.

what the .....

thats the only word that came to my mind. he is the only undercover person that actually mainstreamed i have ever known. *i dont know is this because i'm still eager to mad or what*
actually to get through this opinion i should have told you about other story but i dont think i should write it here anyway.

i told him i cannot follow his pattern, i have my opinion, we discussed this and that and finally he was out of word and gave me a quote from trainspotting movie

"You're not getting any younger, Mark. The world is changing, music is changing, even drugs are changing. You can't stay in here all day dreaming about heroin and Ziggy Pop."

well. he's right but still i do enjoy what he wants to serve, but do the others will?
we are not making this event for us, we are making this for THEM..
this is also have explanation that i cannot write here now.

i hope for the best, i hope what i worked so hard will be taken as something for anyone that will come on the day
amen

make it great!

2.28.2011

one step

i took one step out of my box, i came out nowhere and face a new strange stage of life
i bend my knee to find the right strength to survive, and i did

one step further

out of the former box, i faced a really random situation which pull out all of my nerve and i didn't gave all of my guts up. i survived

one step even further

i hit the wall, i back of a little bit, but things change extremely amazing
people who i didn't recognized help me beat that wall down, and i see more abstract prospect out there, yet i haven't build my plan to face them all

you, i saw you more than anything
i stand with too much pressure and yet i believe i can handle.

dreams, lead me to something
dreams, give me hope
you, will be something
you, will be anything
you, will have your dream
you, will be helped by people around you
you, will be loved by you
you, won't recognize anything
you, something else

and you, will get you through anything

just believe, that someone here, there, everywhere, already give you anything you need

open your eyes, open your mind
and you will live in heaven