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10.31.2009

hands clean - alanis morissette

If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened
If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself
If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and
If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much

Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me
You're kind of my protege and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it

Ooh this could get messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

what part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
what part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
what with this distance it seems so obvious?

Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish I could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body

Ooh this could be messy and
Ooh I don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime
actually i can't sleep and i keep surfing and browsing and reading people's blog.

i wonder , they had such wonderful stories, why can't i have it?

anyway, i was just arrived from bandung, actually, i arrived at 12 pm, but then i went for awhile with jason , we grab something to eat, and then we went to odonk's office. it's kinda weird to call it as a office, because it didn't seem like it.

a house, full of crap. thats what i'd like to call it.

there were latif, dimi, odonk , and somad, lying down on the floor, smiling and laughing.

just by the time i went in , it such a warm comforting air blew trough me. i love this air. the air of familiar comforting , welcoming sound and i just miss it so much.

we talk, we laugh, we memorize all the thing we have missed. we've separated to long, we didn't hold to each other for about a year, gees, where have i been?

we hug, we lean, we trade every single missing stories. we drink, we smoke, we get drunk, we were being our self

why can't i have it in bandung ?

so much people i met, none of it being my truly family as i have them.
1 person , i thought i have, but the truth tell the opposite site of it.
nothing will change me like this have. unfortunately, it was way to far from what i've thought.

now i have this insomnia, but i have to wake in the morning. i got to practice for sunday's audition. gosh, i need to get my self commit to what i choose.

well, love makes you stupid, love makes you doomed.

but it is what human needs, i think soon i'm going to be normal

honestly for dedicated person

White Flag
Dido

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it.
Where's the sense in that?
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder,
or return to where we were

But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and destruction
To come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble, I understand if you
Can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
Then I'm sure that that makes sense

But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet, which I'm sure we will
All that was there, will be there still
I'll let it pass and hold my tongue
And you will think that I've moved on...

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be