Since my last post, I would say my relationship didn't end up nicely. Yes, we broke up, in about 5-6 months long relationship, which is the longest I ever had in my life.
Why do this relationship ended? It's because I'm to abstract to be true and he couldn't handle it much longer.
abstract? what's that word about?
ab·stract (b-strkt, bstrkt)
adj.
1. Considered apart from concrete existence: an abstract concept.
2. Not applied or practical; theoretical. See Synonyms at theoretical.
3. Difficult to understand; abstruse: abstract philosophical problems.
4. Thought of or stated without reference to a specific instance: abstract words like truth and justice.
5. Impersonal, as in attitude or views.
6. Having an intellectual and affective artistic content that depends solely on intrinsic form rather than on narrative content or pictorial representation: abstract painting and sculpture.
(from http://www.thefreedictionary.com/abstract )
noted - I guess i will take number 3 as the reason
Yes, I'm not understandable in some way which makes 1 person, only 1, couldn't bare to stay uncomfortable around me. Which in contrary, this abstraction I have is , almost, the reason why people attracted to be my friend, to be close, to hang out with, and so on so on.
But in a relationship, said it was a point that could make the other person stay out from the other. Make excuses to not seeing each other. Breaking up, in some cases, "I couldn't understand a woman" -mostly they said.
Well, boys, it's not us that you couldn't understand, it's not us that being so complicated for what we thinks and what we want. It's just a matter of how you would see it in relax way so both of the girl and the boy could understand each other.
WORDS, we only need WORDS. Seriously. Not for fighting, just for noticing. A relationship turning on our radar to another person. That's intending us to know every inch of stories they had, their thoughts, what they need and what they want, conjoining together and meets the need, the most needs, BEING TOGETHER.
Why is it so hard to reach? How do we going to do this to make it worked out?
Experience is most needed.
Come , please hurry come my another journey
4.11.2012
1.08.2012
ticking so fast
its been a while since my last post. May was it ? gosh i've been lost of words for a few months. But anyway, there's a lot of changes since my dramatic unpleasant thing i wrote in the previous post. Maybe this time will do to tell what was that all about.
Yea, that time, May 2011, i got rejected by one of my crush. Actually, it was not a rejection. We were having a relationship, unfortunately, only for a day, then he broke up with me with some reason, which unacceptable for most people, but I did accept it gratefully, because if grieve about him, so unworthy to be cried on. He's such a childish but lovely person, so the hell with what happen, i was not taken granted for what he did, it was better that we did not having a relationship than being cheated if we force "us" to get along that time.
But yea, I was kinda desperately sad about that lost, just because I said I didn't want to be kind enough to forgive that easily, I was forced -by my self- not to meet, even think about the past person , whom not treating me that well as i expected. So I move on doing many things beside crying for nothing.
After that accident, something happen in my life. It changes the path that I imagined to have. A friend that used to be a place for me to throw away my sad stories became someone in time. I opened my eyes and i just realized something I had for a long time but didn't care to look about.
Yes. A person to stand with, share with, and ready to struggle with. No matter what I did or do, support will come and patient will do.
If I'm not miss count, almost 3 months for now I have this man, understanding every each things i've done, every words I say, every wishes I make, he make it good.
For now, i only may say thank you for this opportunity, I'm hoping i could do my best to give, and wishing for a good thing to happen.
Let's see how it last
Yea, that time, May 2011, i got rejected by one of my crush. Actually, it was not a rejection. We were having a relationship, unfortunately, only for a day, then he broke up with me with some reason, which unacceptable for most people, but I did accept it gratefully, because if grieve about him, so unworthy to be cried on. He's such a childish but lovely person, so the hell with what happen, i was not taken granted for what he did, it was better that we did not having a relationship than being cheated if we force "us" to get along that time.
But yea, I was kinda desperately sad about that lost, just because I said I didn't want to be kind enough to forgive that easily, I was forced -by my self- not to meet, even think about the past person , whom not treating me that well as i expected. So I move on doing many things beside crying for nothing.
After that accident, something happen in my life. It changes the path that I imagined to have. A friend that used to be a place for me to throw away my sad stories became someone in time. I opened my eyes and i just realized something I had for a long time but didn't care to look about.
Yes. A person to stand with, share with, and ready to struggle with. No matter what I did or do, support will come and patient will do.
If I'm not miss count, almost 3 months for now I have this man, understanding every each things i've done, every words I say, every wishes I make, he make it good.
For now, i only may say thank you for this opportunity, I'm hoping i could do my best to give, and wishing for a good thing to happen.
Let's see how it last
11.24.2011
5.20.2011
something happened days ago , i don't want to talk about it because i really don't mend it.
anyways, what i was trying to tell is about what happen after i got struck by that thing. total disaster to my own body.
i got a really serious disorientation , physically, i don't know how to deliberate it.
my body over capacity to engage with my mind, i was demonstrated by my own body, is it weird??
i always took anything so easy , not to think to much about what happen around which actually something good, i mean not that "i don't really care about anything else" its just like, i can bare with any negative or problems around , even people's problem can be easy if they take a bit from my opinion. but actually that makes me some kind of , what to call, unhuman for some people.
do you think i don't really think of something hard, heavy thing inspite of the playing around not being serious act i have done in present days? i can not be predicted , of course i can't. but i tried to tell people by words, scramble words, act shit like i don't even want to remember, just to show around that please, dig inside of me by your self. i know its hard, but will somebody try? is it that hard to see the different side of me?
but unfortunately , i don't want anything happen for substitute. i don't need that yet. i still have my charm and i don't think it will be gone for long term condition.
yes, i do feel humanity for a while, i had dreams, which i don't really like to have, because in my dream i was talking and acting the same act in reality as i really awake but in a second away i would be awaken by sounds and realized it still was only a dream, i'm tired by this, its like i live in people's mind, people who actually were near me when i was asleep. it's like i live in their dream, i came in their dream, i talk to them by our mind, it is a dream, but still felt so weird when the dream nothing to be judge as a dream, nothing special, just random usual activity we did when we talk, when we mock around, when we share stories, when we loathing something, things like that.
my mind not over capacity, but this time i would say, i'm out of words, i'm out of space , to care for somebody else(thousands of them) except one
anyways, what i was trying to tell is about what happen after i got struck by that thing. total disaster to my own body.
i got a really serious disorientation , physically, i don't know how to deliberate it.
my body over capacity to engage with my mind, i was demonstrated by my own body, is it weird??
i always took anything so easy , not to think to much about what happen around which actually something good, i mean not that "i don't really care about anything else" its just like, i can bare with any negative or problems around , even people's problem can be easy if they take a bit from my opinion. but actually that makes me some kind of , what to call, unhuman for some people.
do you think i don't really think of something hard, heavy thing inspite of the playing around not being serious act i have done in present days? i can not be predicted , of course i can't. but i tried to tell people by words, scramble words, act shit like i don't even want to remember, just to show around that please, dig inside of me by your self. i know its hard, but will somebody try? is it that hard to see the different side of me?
but unfortunately , i don't want anything happen for substitute. i don't need that yet. i still have my charm and i don't think it will be gone for long term condition.
yes, i do feel humanity for a while, i had dreams, which i don't really like to have, because in my dream i was talking and acting the same act in reality as i really awake but in a second away i would be awaken by sounds and realized it still was only a dream, i'm tired by this, its like i live in people's mind, people who actually were near me when i was asleep. it's like i live in their dream, i came in their dream, i talk to them by our mind, it is a dream, but still felt so weird when the dream nothing to be judge as a dream, nothing special, just random usual activity we did when we talk, when we mock around, when we share stories, when we loathing something, things like that.
my mind not over capacity, but this time i would say, i'm out of words, i'm out of space , to care for somebody else(thousands of them) except one
5.10.2011
late night expose , kinda catchy when the picture or something unravel hope always come in infinite moment
amusement settled while this words cannot be healed by thoughts
the wall in front cannot be torn, waits like forever
why ? why this moment always attach like they wont go or erased or ... i don't know
hopes, they are all fake.
experience , they make you strong
lies, above all lies, they keep you strong
this sentences must come as soon as possible, will time let me achieve it?
amusement settled while this words cannot be healed by thoughts
the wall in front cannot be torn, waits like forever
why ? why this moment always attach like they wont go or erased or ... i don't know
hopes, they are all fake.
experience , they make you strong
lies, above all lies, they keep you strong
this sentences must come as soon as possible, will time let me achieve it?
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About Me
- wendee
- bandung -current Jakarta, jawa barat - Jakarta holiday, Indonesia
- i'm almost 21, i'm quiet, often being underestimated
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