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Jakarta, December 2009

so, I write this with expectation that soon I'll get bored enough so I can go to bed.

last night, I went with this so-called "Lula" friends that was actually my having-fun-go-mad friends.

we made a late-Christmas-dinner in a restaurant named The Apartment, which located in Kuningan.

so here's how the story goes.

we had planned for this dinner like weeks before we even finish our last semester. we were to excited to make this gorgeous dinner happen. we planned this and that and get stuffed with our own imagination. but the thing is, before all the thing happen as we planned, Jason must go to Japan, which reducing 1 personnel from what we have planned. also Genta still in the.. hmm middle of Java, so he can't join this dinner.

8 people it is. me, boncel, petra, ajeng, dita, iprit, je, and rahmi.

i went with boncel as he was the driver to the so called - police everywhere road- we must go by.
i went to his place like before 7 pm, and arrived more and less 7 oclock , and we went straight to kuningan , which i thought would be jammed , but happened to be very smooth and we arrived like 15 minutes afterward.

still got 45 minutes to get by because the reservation was on 8. so we spend the minutes in the car, which he was singing our theme song for the day, VIERA -RASA INI , which not included to one of my favorite song, but he seemed like it after all -_-. oia, we spend almost more than 10 minutes to parked my car. he was a good driver, but maybe he got a nervous break down , he seemed like couldn't find a perfect fit to park my car. haha that was funny thou. he got my nerves too. i was afraid he would crash my car. haha no i believe in you dad. hahaha

so, we.. actually only he, sang those Indonesian songs played by the radio while we waited the others to come. finally dita iprit and ajeng came and we entered the restaurant.

checked on the menu, goshh.. it was soo expensive, thank God that i've already eat somehow before i went there because i must took my medicine before to late, so i only ordered Cafe latte, which i thought 25bucks would be more than enough ( i didn't think about the taxes which in the end surprisingly making me desperate)

and boncel, asked to company him to grab some coffe, outside the building, which the price was way on the contrary , cheaper. hahaha
so we went outside, leaving the girls behind while they were chatting on something and bla bla bla

then petra came, also je and rahmi, which arrived like a half hour later, and we started to order the foods.

after that, we kinda,, hmm felt like we were meant to order a bottle of.. wine. yea, red wine, which i don't know why do i say yes in the first place. now i have to stay at home for several days cos i've used all of this week money . hmm
but it was good. we had cheers to the prospect of our new year, and we chit chat like we don't care about the time. and when the time for the last order had come, time to pay the bill and leave this expensive place. but again, it was so fun to have this "dinner". we should do this again.

the guys wanted to move our butt to somewhere else, so we went to 7/11 , which i really intended to go to, i craved for slurpee this several days, and boncel want to grab a hot dog ( which i promoted with persuasive words ), so the guys also were coming with us, but me and dad got the wrong turn , we passed the first turn so we went to a longer road before we reach 7/11. man, i don't really know kuningan street, i hate to drive there.

we got to 7/11, i bought slurpee, and the others bought their snack, we met several old friends, we chat, they smoked, and after that one by one gone to their house.

my duty to drop je and boncel home, so after that, i got home by 1 am, well, more then that i guess.

this day was quite fun. no extraordinary things, but gather after not seeing 1 week after seeing each day in bandung was really something that we were look forward to do, so.. this was it.

now, its 2.33, and i haven't feel sleepy yet. i bet someone who said "gw blom ngantuk kayanya gw nonton dvd dulu" already had gone sleep like a beauty baby there. haha he didn't reply my sms which i need the reply soon.

well, enough for talking crap..

still, all of my posts will be ended by a sweet closing

"yesterday we were like a north and south pole , we were attracted one to each other. tomorrow, or even today, some of us will or have broken that we actually now rejecting one to each other. but somehow, what happened in the reality wasn't what we meant in our mind, heart and dream. sleep tight love ones and we will get through everything . Night, see you in the next scrap of my life stories."


you can throw your love and care not just to the people you love

see and blend to people around you

and you'll find peace


i felt insecure to stay alive with no man to depend on. i used to, but not anymore.

i'm not a believer in relationship thingy, but i would like , somehow, to have one.

someone said something that i've already knew

"what are we looking for maybe not what are we needed for"

it is true

i don't know what i needed

i only see what i have figured in my mind.

and it is hard to take it off


well, this is about what i just saw from people i finally meet after months and years haven't reunited.

so, today i went out to meet Cynthia, my bestfriend that lives in Canada for her study. she was home for Christmas, New year, and her birthday in January.

first plan was we, mayu and friends, were going to her house like in the afternoon, but in the morning, she texted me and told me she's going to be out of her house doing stuffs and asked us to meet her up somewhere near where she went. i was free all day so i just waited her to request and pick the place.

hours went by, and finally she asked me out to PIM. i thought it was just going to be me and her time, but i found that Jovinto, and Jordy was already there. friends from the elementary and junior highschool. ow how much i miss'em.

also Brevi came , oh Alex did stop by and chatted for a bit , they were my bestfriends, to bad i can't keep my relation to them, my bad

and so on and on, we chat , laugh like a happy group talking shits and things, memorizing every event happened back there, talk about our life now and then, some talked about their serious relationship with their partners, man, i wonder i still have none, that was sad. haha

and actually, i had a kind of deal with one of them. it was a long story to tell, but yea, i was mean to him and, i never said i'm sorry for what i've done to him. it hurts to remember and thinking from his side of view. i was a bad person back then. ( and actually i did it several times)
so, it might be my karma

and from what i have seen, i realized. man, i wasted a lot of good guys.
i can see how they've become an attractive one, with their own girls, which if i'm not that bad, that cruel, i might be one of them. i might have that sweet lovers, hugging, loving and caring with that huge love they have. but unfortunately, i am what i am, i guess it wont work that well for me.

what makes me regret not having him as mine was, he was totally turning to my type.
he's tall
he's white
he plays instrument
he sings
he has a good style
he's Javanese
he's a long dark hair ( wavy one )
and he's a Catholic

but still. he was not what i need for

Good Lord, hand me one, please

and so, the time passed by, we have to say good night to each other
its a hard time to go when you feel a great time , while you have it like once in a month

well, we will meet eventually , in a short ways, it still a holiday thou

Happy holiday everyone, may you guys have a good memories in this holly jolly days


you think of your self as the worst miserable person ever alive these days

you walk through the day with heavy thoughts and scream out loud with no one listening

you scream inside your heart.

you were tired with all the things surrounding

you saw you listened you moved you stopped

you care and be cared of

but still you unsatisfied.

you build a lot of armies companying every single move

they follow the order

they protect you

appear and disappear as you told them to go or to be there

still, you get even more crankier

been loved by a thousand person

all you have to do is pick one and do one

still, you ask , why nobody likes me?

you search for something good

you describe the exact personality

you picture the condition and situation

but you don't realize that she was there

you have a lot of things to condemn

but you say yes with all of your big lovely smile

your heart stumped for a revolution

the most lovable person i know alive

things get more cheesy as the time past by

they come and go to take you and separate you

i know, it's your life

you just say something pleasant , flattering me high around

stupidly, i reject you by my words.
it's my biggest looser