there is nowhere else to put this words after all

today's feeling that i have is the strongest feeling i ever urge to come up with

in need

the lost pair

who?

youth spirit

Photo of Bitterswing i took a week ago

coming back from reality, these word i'm going to arrange seems to be just a cliché but, they are real

youth, teenage, whatsoever you would call it, we couldn't measure it just by age, by how old we are.

i see it as how we act as we grow and try to socialize with other people, in deed, how we cope where we mingle around with friends, old, new, best friend, acquaintance, or even enemies.

sometime we act better, kinder, humble with new people, as if we tried to make a good first impression with them. but to old friends, we act careless, we yell, we scream, we don't even think about how they feel with our behavior

youth, is how we feel our spirit is light up with enjoyable things

we tried many things ahead, we don't care what people said, we just do what we do, we are being our self

but is it true?

is it really "us"

somehow we show up with good feelings instead , hiding all of the bad thoughts in mind so we won't affect other people, specifically among friends.

no

the real thing is, when we really in the good place, the perfect fit of our needs, our real friend, you show the real you

the bad and sad stories, the happy and joyful stories, all nagging, all comments, all insult, all bragging.. we show it all. we keep it share one to another.

thats what in mind.

the fact?

no one will know which one is the truth, because we human, choose to lie

but how ever that is, sometime on those laugh, you find something precious that you will think you should keep in forever

time flies, opportunities come and go

choose what you think you want to choose, it is our right to do it

we are the youth generation, we should be better in mind and better in act

but in our own perspective. freedom .. it is

plastic skin with burning desire

careless expression made without willing to show about

dragging all the way down to nowhere
leaving different meaning to people who sees with their perfection of society
harmful to people who care a lot these days
harmless to what felt inside when they told you about the lies

plastic made you find so hard to express what lies inside
love, care, laugh, anger, seemed never appeal because there is no way to define
perfection is all they seen, which never been there from the first place
laugh the sound out, never felt the way it should be

eyes, they could speak. eyes they tell the truth
sadness anger laughter, shared with tears and colours
but somehow it speaks only for your self
you hide your face when your eyes start to talk

heart hurts to see the real world
where you desire to be the most
of anything you face every second of every minute
skip all the thing that doesn't come to the mind
broken inside you start to think of lies
could it ever survive?

times flies so hard that you can't even try to look what you've left behind
see the world in new side, and take the dirty glasses off your eyes

hope will cope with your desire
it wont fade till your time has come

here's a few reminiscing photo i took while me and my friends went to TMII few months ago, its quite memorized that we had that months anyway guys.

sad to remembering that we can't be together these present day, we always looking forward to gather up again sometime. i miss this time sake

TMII

we discovered few memorable things a head, we found but lost one way all around

one thing substituting the other

love, friendship, kindness, warmth and the euphoria stay remained in our heart.

where ever we are , when ever will be

amazed

it was easy for me to be amazed by something, someone unordinary, likely i was blinded by it.

never think of what that means, what should there be, how i'm suppose to behave or so on.

more than hundred times i was stuck in my own feeling. to much perspective i used in judging people's capability, how i see people's behavior, and other things that not common in people's eyes.

i thought something differently.. well good to be told, i am different

but something turns out badly, when i think of someone who i thought, now me deeply very very well, it just turn down on me, i would just say, stupid for them, that they do something unimportant like that. i wouldn't grief by this action they made because its just not in a proper situation.

i amazed by their thoughts, stupidly annoying but i won't matter about it, no more.

2nd thing i amazed about this kinda day, is this person.

it supposed to be called i fall for some guy i barely know.

seemly the same as what i've been through years back, i put to much interest in one guy, who i barely know, with to much excite, till , i think, being annoyance to some people. but there's no further progress that could be shown from what i've done to make a move to this guy. yea well, i've tried to be friends with his friends, i tried to bound with new people to get to know him well. but i don't really have that approach straight to the man, which clearly said , there won't be any progress if i stick in this theory.

i'm being a stalker for about over 4 months, i get to know him by his writing, by his emotion speaking in words, by people's talking, and just by seeing. lame, isn't it?

but i've tried my best to slow down, because i'm afraid i will fall in the same spot and failed with nothing

and so i check about his life every day, then i just found his blog this night. i read it, and i like it. he's so much a like with me, in my judgment , but not in his community, i guess. what i saw is that he's so much damn introvert, i could barely hear his voice when we were mingle around somehow. he laugh and act strangely as the day goes by, but still, i couldn't see his personality yet.

i know that he's a hard worker, and perfect match to what i've seeking for. to bad is just the gap that we hold, the year we entered this faculty, made a big difference for us to bound as a common friend, i just get to ashamed to be and known that i interested to this person so much.

i'm still trying to do any best to get close to this guy. whatever will happen in the future, i'll just be blessed by it.

amazed by his strange smile, i will never be able to ease his face from my mind

forever stuck and never find a way to make it happen.

lets just pray for our best