amazed

it was easy for me to be amazed by something, someone unordinary, likely i was blinded by it.

never think of what that means, what should there be, how i'm suppose to behave or so on.

more than hundred times i was stuck in my own feeling. to much perspective i used in judging people's capability, how i see people's behavior, and other things that not common in people's eyes.

i thought something differently.. well good to be told, i am different

but something turns out badly, when i think of someone who i thought, now me deeply very very well, it just turn down on me, i would just say, stupid for them, that they do something unimportant like that. i wouldn't grief by this action they made because its just not in a proper situation.

i amazed by their thoughts, stupidly annoying but i won't matter about it, no more.

2nd thing i amazed about this kinda day, is this person.

it supposed to be called i fall for some guy i barely know.

seemly the same as what i've been through years back, i put to much interest in one guy, who i barely know, with to much excite, till , i think, being annoyance to some people. but there's no further progress that could be shown from what i've done to make a move to this guy. yea well, i've tried to be friends with his friends, i tried to bound with new people to get to know him well. but i don't really have that approach straight to the man, which clearly said , there won't be any progress if i stick in this theory.

i'm being a stalker for about over 4 months, i get to know him by his writing, by his emotion speaking in words, by people's talking, and just by seeing. lame, isn't it?

but i've tried my best to slow down, because i'm afraid i will fall in the same spot and failed with nothing

and so i check about his life every day, then i just found his blog this night. i read it, and i like it. he's so much a like with me, in my judgment , but not in his community, i guess. what i saw is that he's so much damn introvert, i could barely hear his voice when we were mingle around somehow. he laugh and act strangely as the day goes by, but still, i couldn't see his personality yet.

i know that he's a hard worker, and perfect match to what i've seeking for. to bad is just the gap that we hold, the year we entered this faculty, made a big difference for us to bound as a common friend, i just get to ashamed to be and known that i interested to this person so much.

i'm still trying to do any best to get close to this guy. whatever will happen in the future, i'll just be blessed by it.

amazed by his strange smile, i will never be able to ease his face from my mind

forever stuck and never find a way to make it happen.

lets just pray for our best