plastic skin with burning desire

careless expression made without willing to show about

dragging all the way down to nowhere
leaving different meaning to people who sees with their perfection of society
harmful to people who care a lot these days
harmless to what felt inside when they told you about the lies

plastic made you find so hard to express what lies inside
love, care, laugh, anger, seemed never appeal because there is no way to define
perfection is all they seen, which never been there from the first place
laugh the sound out, never felt the way it should be

eyes, they could speak. eyes they tell the truth
sadness anger laughter, shared with tears and colours
but somehow it speaks only for your self
you hide your face when your eyes start to talk

heart hurts to see the real world
where you desire to be the most
of anything you face every second of every minute
skip all the thing that doesn't come to the mind
broken inside you start to think of lies
could it ever survive?

times flies so hard that you can't even try to look what you've left behind
see the world in new side, and take the dirty glasses off your eyes

hope will cope with your desire
it wont fade till your time has come

here's a few reminiscing photo i took while me and my friends went to TMII few months ago, its quite memorized that we had that months anyway guys.

sad to remembering that we can't be together these present day, we always looking forward to gather up again sometime. i miss this time sake

TMII

we discovered few memorable things a head, we found but lost one way all around

one thing substituting the other

love, friendship, kindness, warmth and the euphoria stay remained in our heart.

where ever we are , when ever will be

amazed

it was easy for me to be amazed by something, someone unordinary, likely i was blinded by it.

never think of what that means, what should there be, how i'm suppose to behave or so on.

more than hundred times i was stuck in my own feeling. to much perspective i used in judging people's capability, how i see people's behavior, and other things that not common in people's eyes.

i thought something differently.. well good to be told, i am different

but something turns out badly, when i think of someone who i thought, now me deeply very very well, it just turn down on me, i would just say, stupid for them, that they do something unimportant like that. i wouldn't grief by this action they made because its just not in a proper situation.

i amazed by their thoughts, stupidly annoying but i won't matter about it, no more.

2nd thing i amazed about this kinda day, is this person.

it supposed to be called i fall for some guy i barely know.

seemly the same as what i've been through years back, i put to much interest in one guy, who i barely know, with to much excite, till , i think, being annoyance to some people. but there's no further progress that could be shown from what i've done to make a move to this guy. yea well, i've tried to be friends with his friends, i tried to bound with new people to get to know him well. but i don't really have that approach straight to the man, which clearly said , there won't be any progress if i stick in this theory.

i'm being a stalker for about over 4 months, i get to know him by his writing, by his emotion speaking in words, by people's talking, and just by seeing. lame, isn't it?

but i've tried my best to slow down, because i'm afraid i will fall in the same spot and failed with nothing

and so i check about his life every day, then i just found his blog this night. i read it, and i like it. he's so much a like with me, in my judgment , but not in his community, i guess. what i saw is that he's so much damn introvert, i could barely hear his voice when we were mingle around somehow. he laugh and act strangely as the day goes by, but still, i couldn't see his personality yet.

i know that he's a hard worker, and perfect match to what i've seeking for. to bad is just the gap that we hold, the year we entered this faculty, made a big difference for us to bound as a common friend, i just get to ashamed to be and known that i interested to this person so much.

i'm still trying to do any best to get close to this guy. whatever will happen in the future, i'll just be blessed by it.

amazed by his strange smile, i will never be able to ease his face from my mind

forever stuck and never find a way to make it happen.

lets just pray for our best

So this little story about my organization that I have not been updated. As i remember, it was about somewhen in febuary, held the inauguration of new members who counted as a member in 2009. The number of candidates who gave real surprise to us, the old members, who expected the successor of the membership number at the inauguration of this year. it was only 3 people who will be inaugurated as the new members. well, actually it was good that there are members who will be inaugurated somehow. But, anyway, there was this ordinary ceremony we were doing to inaugurate them.

look how dashing they are

Young member 2007 performed this ceremony. As usual they use our outdoor outfit, our beloved Orange Jacket. Unfortunately, i don't bring mine, and neither i used indoor outfit, i uses ordinary casual long t-shirt, sorry guys. hehe

Among, one of the 2007, perfectly tended to be the commander of the ceremony, along with Ferry who tended to be, well,( whats the word? ) - pembina upacara.

Lots of attenders from many years, not too much, but at least still there were several of still-concerned-members that joined the ceremony.

No separation between the old members ( which literally the old ones ) and the young one

After we pass this official ordinary flag ceremony, then came the inauguration time.

The three new members stepped in front of the line.

They washed down with coconut water for the purpose of baptism by the oldest member who attended and then given a scarf as a sign of the inauguration. So there they were, the new member of TRUPALA 2009. (actually i forgot the names, i'll be back for that someday)

After the ceremony finished, we gathered around , drank some "cendol" and we ate some snack brought by the committee. We chat one to another, individually, then to group of old friends, reminiscing the old memory back.

It's been to long for me to meet and be with this old bestfriends, together spending the time like there's no tomorrow, laughing our fat ass off, mingle like we don't care where we were.

I miss those time, i miss the guys.

Can we go back to that time? of course not.

I have a life here. i don't regret what i do here, now, and then.

It was just a little rewind of my old memories. It wont be a big concern. Life just goes around as it is.

but so you know, i did miss the old days

its been so long ey , i just got back with another spirits since i just lost it somehow after i lost my soul somehow.

pathetic , yes, that was the word.

you know , well, several people known how i survived in my stupid love life. i have went through some similar mistake then. and i was like repeating all over again. i realized that i have enough with my self somehow. its not that i was angry or fed up with my self, i still love my self, i just longing to have another chance , to proof my self that i can do so much better, i can avoid another stupid decision, stupid theory, i just want to feel ordinary love, which i haven't felt till now.

several so-called relationship, thou never been in a real status somehow, but i did feel love, loving, loved and whatever you want to call it.

somehow the only thing that made me feel like there's missing pieces in my daylife, its only one thing. love. never had the real thing for once.

i have much friends, i have much activity, i never felt bored, i play a lot, instead, i was too much cool with anything. everything felt like nothing was wrong, it was like it fits the way they were. to perfect till i don't recognize whats missing.

somehow, yes , i do admit what my bestfriend said, i was too much careless , i should atleast be sensitive for a little bit, but i wont change the way i am thou.

im hoping this would be the last lame post about love love things. i will come back with great experience, angry, joy, sadness, anything but blaming my self.

we should keep our spirits alive, will you? you should! :D