New Drawing

This my new drawing, still a sketch, but with a little editing with my phone, it turns out to this.

Okay, how to describe this picture?

First, I was thinking about me. Some feeling I had for several months backward, a loneliness that actually appears inside my soul..
Not actually lonely but, some kind of that feeling occur because the transition in my age life, from teenager, partying people activity, to some growing up girl, moving to a serious way of life.

Not there yet, but on going.

Nature, something that I was living in, "Pecinta Alam" if you said so.

Now, I'm being this city girl, hanging out and wasting so much money with friends that has this kind of life style.. doesn't really suit me well, but I did try to get along with it.

Dragging my self out from that routinity makes me an alien, as I said in my other post back then.
Alone, sad, lonely, but... I stand to live with it.

I miss being the part of nature, I miss being me, the carefree me.
Childish but responsible. Now, I'm talking mature, but not actually doing the same way.

FAKE. Yes, but this is what I can do now.
I still don't know how to act properly to be an adult, to be something , someone for my family.
My dream -> being an ARTIST. MUSICIAN. Will I achieve it?

I will. In my hardest will , strongest will, I will actually giving all of me to walk the path I want to walk in.

I love arts, and it is who I am.
I wont give it up.

I'm sorry to be this stubborn but I know, I will, and always will keep a good intention and a good work to be where I belong to be, successfully,  will make my parents happy. AMEN. God, hear me out, and make my wish come true.

Midnight talk.. but I wont forget my word