5 July 2009

Here is my story of the day.

Remember from the last post i said i'm going to do something today .. ?

Well.. this is the report.

Started at ordinary rehearsal for this Great Overture concert coming up on August somewhen , then going to ITC permata hijau all by my self, bought new DVDs and doing a little bit window shoping (hmm at itc?), then i got home at 2 pm.

Ichyl was still sleeping somehow from last night party we had at SOHO Citos, but then i just woke her up and asked her to company me to do this today's project.

GET A NEW HAIR CUT.

hahahhahahaa

Yes, i just had my hair cut at Cyber Salon , expensive but really did worth for the price.

My idea was just, i don't want to look a mess but, i want to be extraordinary, it's in my blood, i just started to feel bored of my self because of this ordinary look. Well, my bad i guess. Hahaha

So, I just went to the salon without any plan what kind of hair style i would like to have.

Then, suddenly, i just did this talking with the "mbak2" and then, came along this idea. She started to cut my hair, and well done, it is very very NICE ! hahahhaa

Extremely COOL for me, but i don't know what people will say about this, but Ichyl said she likes it,and i wouldn't care about people's opinion anyway. hahahaa

These are the pictures of my hair look haahahahaa

this is from the right side , still look the same right ?

and this is from the left ixixixixi i love this side

And this is from the Back aheahea

and this how i look from the front

So how do you think my hair do is? ahehaehahea

let me know guys.

After i got this hair cut i stroll along with my sister, which now has kinda the same style as mine. We're sibling afterall.

We done this hang out with somekind of old Komplex friends, we had a blast night meal and night chat with them.

We're going to have next reunion sooner.

After that, we hang around Barito park to have a late night meal with our parents.

This taken by Ichyl, oo i'm a punk'er aheaheha LOL

Founding my self have spent too much useless time makes me realized i did to much grieving and mourning about my boringness of doing nothing instead only playing computer and games that really makes me retarded for days.

Being stupid, extra stupid running away from problems that found either in my own so-called home or even finding problems inside my self (means i thought i'm being phsyco enough) this kind of tiredness of the allergic sickness i have that very far away from being better, i did too much this -making my self die any sooner. Bad bad thing i've done in this holiday.

Tonight, I just met a few old friends and another friends from my friends - point is, i met this peoples, they are models, photographer, singer, musician, and else, those kind of very cool life style, the real cool people not just this ordinary new kid style or whatsoever.

They made me think, man, i have this talents, a few talents that my parents already taught me since i was a little dummy kid, why would i just screw my life because of this hedonic feeling i have just for a second - and screw my entire day, days or even a week. Being very retarded because can't focused on anything.

I need new things. Consider from my self, i'm a little experimental person.

I decided. First thing i would like to do is, I will change my appearance by the look, hair-do, or what ever i had in mind, i'll just gonna do it for some fun.

Also, i'll start to talk to my parents, maybe it'll help me find out what will i do for dragging my self from my self-trouble that caused by my own thought.

Hmm, I'm trying to discuss about what work i should try to apply in time, because i really need to raise my own saving.

I want to travel around with my own money. Also, July, many things i wanna do and get. I need more money and saving.

This is my only thought i had in my brain for this very moment.

I'm trying to get normal as normal as anybody else.

It might not seem normal for normal people, but, thats what i called "fun".Haha

Let's see what will i do tomorrow.

Nite

finally being gathered around for a few times in this week after we seperated for a long time since, me gone to college in Bandung, and Kota, stays for his study in Jakarta.

So when me had this semester holiday, we back to Jakarta, we hoped that we could find some old friends back in Warning, the one which supposed to be our second home but unfortunately now just being an ordinary warung to stop by. We can only find Kota that always stays around there, either only stop and go after he got off his campus, or just stop by when he has a date with his girl, or even killing time by playing at the Hin city (somekind of warnet-warung internet- that i've never touched). Well, actually that kind of stuff also being Jason routine.

After Cassey arrived from Jogjakarta, we did meet each other and spent quality time for like a day, but she had to pack her belonging days after because she was going to shanghai with her family (She's having a blast holiday rightnow actually, i envy). So, back to back, Jason again again and again the one to spend my day with (not everyday, but oftenly).

And so then it all started this week, Monday, I went to watch some movie with Jason, and also Kota was invited, )he didn't know that we were going to watch movie, but he already came, so what can he say, he join us.

Just before that. I did something bad.

Unfortunately i had this kind of curiousness about anything people done in this life time.

You know drugs, drinks, things that may damage and killed your self, but i don't do it actually.( I WAS NOT)

But not anymore.

I just i had this big curiousness.

Seemly like, i know some guy who did those kind of things and lately i was tempted to asked them for it.

Naa, on that Monday date day, I did one. I ate one of a drug , i forgot what its name, it didn't gave much effect to your body, you just feel like you're doing so relax, you don't feel any adrenaline rush, or somekind of like that.

That was my first time.

The next day, i was just told if i want to keep the effect for the next day, i just need to drink coffee and sodas, so i drank , A LOT.

It did work, i feel happy afterall.

The next day, still i did the same things , also, i took another 2 pills, of the same type i took on monday.

Still the same effect.

Yesterday. I took a diffrent type of pills, I started to get addicted to those kind of stuff.

Really, i do.

And this one, really had a big difference effect as the last type i took.

Very very uncomfortable feeling i felt inside my self.

I was being very-very tired like i need to sleep for a thousand years, and i did.

I went home and i cant even remember how, when i awake, it's already 2 pm today.

I slept to much. And i still felt lots of dizzy.

This kind of stuff took a lot of bad effect , you could do bad things that you wouldn't even remember that you've done it.

You may damage your brain, you forgot what you've just did, where you put your stuff, where you were heading to, anything bad. It could happened.

I had enough for now.

Really am.

I asked everyone i trusted to pull me out when i start to act that i need one.

I need their help.

I just, i dont strong enough to pull my self out.

I just have this problems and this becoming my run away item from my problems.

Its very very wrong.

I knew it.

I just CAN'T !!!!!

Guys.

Just remind this.

This things are extremely BAD, so

Don't.

I am embarrassed,

but this must be said to anyone.

STAY AWAY FROM DRUGS.

stupidity

Today, I suppose to have a date with Milatina Salma, who asked me the night before to join her and Bako on their plan , hunt for some photos in Senayan. She said, "9 am ya we" and i said, okay because i don't have any plan anyway, Cassey is leaving to Shanghai trip with her family, and i just had spent too much money days before, so i think, hunt for some photos would be nice.

And so , i woke up , actually , kinda late, about 9.10 or when-so-ever, and i didn't remember why i should wake early this morning. After yawning and stretching, i began to realized , MILA !

So i called her. (Still in sleepy voice)

"Mil, are you awake? Jadi ga ke senayan?"

mila :"ya wek, gw juga baru bangun hahaha. yauda i call Biki dulu ya"

And so after i hung up the phone, i went back to sleep for awhile till Bako's sms came and she said,

"Wek, kita sushi aja yu sushi tei senayan city. Mila ga jadi dibolein pergi, dia harus ngurus SIM"

hmm okay. Sushi sound good afterall.

I remembered that Dita wants to come to my house to install THE SIMS 3, so i told her that i have this sushi tei plan, and i asked her to join. She approved it, so then, its a date.

12 o'clock, but i actually still having a bit of reaction of something i did the day before, so i just didn't feel to move fast, i came a bit late, but Dita and Bako did so, so no one got there on time anyway.

We ate our lunch, with some "blunder"ing thing, i tried to stay focused on their conversation, it did well anyway, almost actually, i skipped a few of their conversation, i didn't feel to well.

And so, because in sushi tei we cant smoke, we moved to Plasa Senayan, to Starbucks - i need caffein so much - my very bad choice i have done today.

2 cups of dark coffee, without milk, and 3 bottles of coke. This really messed me up.

Afterall, Mila came to Senayan and join us to have a cup of , i don't remember what she drank.

We have this big chat of Manohara, Megawati, and things that actually, i don't understand.

And finally, we wanted to move somewhere cozier, we moved to this so-called- palm, we moved to foodcourt, and finally, we decided to go to CheeseCakeFactory in Panglima Polim.

This stupidity began just before we got out from Senayan.

I parked my car in Senayan city.

What i remember is, i parked it at B2 E-something.

So i just moved my foot to the path i remembered.

My car wasn't there.

My car wasn't anywhere.

There's no such E mark around the corner where i remembered as the corner i parked mine.

Start to panic, thank God i wasn't alone, Dita companied me.

We walk through all of the corner, searching for everysingle detail i said, we asked the Carboy or who-so-ever they're called.

Still, i dont have any clue. Where did i park my car?

I PANIC. FOR REAL.

BLUNDEEEERRRRRRRRR..

Gee, do you know how it feels when you're in a middle of some test and you don't know any of the answer, anything, or you got busted for something bad, and you panic like crying (thank God,i wasn't).

And i tried to calm my self down, tried to remember anything i did before i went upstair the moment i arrived before.

And also, i called Bako first, to tell them that i missed my parking place, and the respon i get was

"Ga papa we, gw ini juga lagi ada masalah, gw ketilang polisi nih didaerah gw ga tau mana, gara2 salah 3 kali. hahahahaha"

Waw, hahaha

Me = miss-locating my car

Mila = busted by police

After another searched i made with Dita, (i really felt sorry for her because of this stupidity)

finaly, I FOUND IT!

And you know what, it's just a few meters from the escalator room, i must have turn right, but i took left right, thats why i missed navigation.

HAHA

MAN you don't know how i felt, it so damnly relief !! i hugged my car for real. haha

And then i called Bako, they also had finished their problem with the policeman, without spending anymoney for pay them up.

I just don't feel like hungry anymore, i just got too panic.

But we did went to the CheeseCake Factory, Mila, Bako and Dita had their dinner there.

PLUS, now that we're home, Mila forgot to brought the cake he bought for her dad, she came back, which like JATIWARINGIN - PANGLIMAPOLIM for twice ?!?!?! (yea mungkin blom ampe jatiwaringin, maybe uda di toll mana gitu ahhaha)

BLUNDEEEER

We actually laughing at each other of what we have experienced today.

This is really funny thou.

I just hoping it wont happen anymore.

I will keep my self sober !

my own whispering statement

Because of this ,not little actually, big conversation i had with Jason and Kota, and also because of my last posting below this, i start to re-read all of my blogs, happens to be

was it?

a so-called mind sound that never been talked so much in reality, is that really my thought?

my very honest mind comes out when i was drunk

everybody has read

caused another perception of this and that

did i type it?

of course it's me

and i realized

it must have been read.

Seems like what i have said in reality becomes the biggest lie because i'm afraid of my self.

But also, this would be some funny experiment (STUPID experiment) i may keep as a nostalgia things many years from now.

I dont care anymore.

I'll just do what i do everyday, i wont change, because i think it wont necessary anyway.

Hope that there will be no miss understanding

Let it be just the way it is

the things that must be fixed and handled before i do something else, i'll think about it as soon as possible. And also, some action, need to be done.

I dont put much hope for this matter . I'll just live the way it has to be.

No more promises , no more lies