you,

you think of your self as the worst miserable person ever alive these days

you walk through the day with heavy thoughts and scream out loud with no one listening

you scream inside your heart.

you,

you were tired with all the things surrounding

you saw you listened you moved you stopped

you care and be cared of

but still you unsatisfied.

you,

you build a lot of armies companying every single move

they follow the order

they protect you

appear and disappear as you told them to go or to be there

still, you get even more crankier

you,

been loved by a thousand person

all you have to do is pick one and do one

still, you ask , why nobody likes me?

you,

you search for something good

you describe the exact personality

you picture the condition and situation

but you don't realize that she was there

you,

you have a lot of things to condemn

but you say yes with all of your big lovely smile

your heart stumped for a revolution

you,

the most lovable person i know alive

things get more cheesy as the time past by

they come and go to take you and separate you

i know, it's your life

you,

you just say something pleasant , flattering me high around

stupidly, i reject you by my words.

it's my biggest looser

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?


Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

-Keane

you learn that you will lose something that you thought it won't happen even thou many bad things happened.

but it did happen.

so all you can do just take it easily.

i won't grieve

it's just an experience.

hands clean - alanis morissette

If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened
If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself
If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and
If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much

Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me
You're kind of my protege and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it

Ooh this could get messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

what part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
what part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
what with this distance it seems so obvious?

Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish I could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body

Ooh this could be messy and
Ooh I don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

actually i can't sleep and i keep surfing and browsing and reading people's blog.

i wonder , they had such wonderful stories, why can't i have it?

anyway, i was just arrived from bandung, actually, i arrived at 12 pm, but then i went for awhile with jason , we grab something to eat, and then we went to odonk's office. it's kinda weird to call it as a office, because it didn't seem like it.

a house, full of crap. thats what i'd like to call it.

there were latif, dimi, odonk , and somad, lying down on the floor, smiling and laughing.

just by the time i went in , it such a warm comforting air blew trough me. i love this air. the air of familiar comforting , welcoming sound and i just miss it so much.

we talk, we laugh, we memorize all the thing we have missed. we've separated to long, we didn't hold to each other for about a year, gees, where have i been?

we hug, we lean, we trade every single missing stories. we drink, we smoke, we get drunk, we were being our self

why can't i have it in bandung ?

so much people i met, none of it being my truly family as i have them.

1 person , i thought i have, but the truth tell the opposite site of it.

nothing will change me like this have. unfortunately, it was way to far from what i've thought.

now i have this insomnia, but i have to wake in the morning. i got to practice for sunday's audition. gosh, i need to get my self commit to what i choose.

well, love makes you stupid, love makes you doomed.

but it is what human needs, i think soon i'm going to be normal